You do what you can to be a great parent to your child after a divorce, but does it seem like your ex just doesn’t trust you? One woman said that she thought her and her spouse would be able to split up cleanly and move on, but things didn’t go nearly as well as she’d hoped because her ex considered her to be the “other” mom, the one who wasn’t as capable of raising the child. According to her, the following are indicators that this is happening: — Your ex checks up with doctors, teachers and others after meetings that you attended to make sure things went well. — When you have the kids for any amount of time and you drop them back off, your ex wants detailed reports about what you did and when. — Your ex shames you for working too much and not spending as much time with the kids. This can be done in a way that implies that she is the real, caring mother, while you’re not. — Your ex spends time with the kids, while you end up paying child support. — Most of your children’s possessions end up at your ex’s house. A toy bought as a birthday present, for example, may go to the house when the next custody switch happens, and you’ll never see it again. Knowing what these signs look like can be important even as you’re still working through the divorce. The two of you will need

Divorce can be tough for same-sex couples, and it is something that will likely become more common as same-sex marriage also increases in frequency. There have been massive shifts in both law and public opinion over the years, leading to increased rights for same-sex couples. Those who are splitting up must know how their rights may have changed and what the legal process now looks like. As you sort through this, these tips can help make it all easier. 1. Remember that divorce is still a legal process. It’s emotional on your end because the relationship is ending, but try not to take the court process itself too personally. 2. Additionally, don’t make emotional decision — like fighting for assets you don’t even want out of spite. You want to put your negative emotions aside and make calm, rational decisions. 3. Have a support system. This could include your family, your friends, your legal team, or even some of your co-workers. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and get assistance. Don’t think you must do everything yourself. 4. Go through the divorce in a way you’ll later be proud of, without compromising any of your own ideals and values. When you look back, you want to be happy with the decisions you made and the way you acted. You want to know that you stuck with the things you really care about, whether your personal values include love, family, health and well being, or other things entirely. Divorce isn’t easy.