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Divorce can start with non-communication in the home

As with a lot of things in life, communication is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. That tidbit is more than likely not a revelation to couples. Still, most married couples will admit it is not always easy to practice over the long haul. Some marriage analysts believe that tedium can be the ultimate demise of many marriages right here in greater Boston as well as throughout the country.

Celebrity high net-worth divorce scandals offer marital diversions on television as well as the tabloids. Rather than confront marital problems at home, some spouses divert their stress by focusing on the sensationalized struggles of others.

Some celebrities are able to navigate the landscape of a high net-worth divorce with grace and a sense of calm (Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, for example). Despite the best of intentions, others become embroiled in often expensive and protracted proceedings (Frank McCourt of the Los Angeles). While the financial wrangling may be more complicated in a celebrity divorce, the simple fact is a well-known person confronts the same basic emotional and legal issues that affect all people who have decided to end their marriage. And that may be part of the reason they seem so fascinating.

As a matter of fact, it is speculated by marriage researcher, Paul Amato that as many as 60 percent of the nation's divorces are from what are considered "low conflict" marriages.

Often, many divorces occur simply because couples stop paying attention to one another. The technology era has provided us with nifty distractions such as internet access on our phones, Facebook, as well as many other stimuli. The lack of personal interaction in a marriage is detrimental. The inattention sometimes leads to each spouse blaming the other for perceived faults, often escalating to arguments that spiral out of control. The mudslinging bouts may lead to an affair or a debilitating addiction, or those red light indications of disaster may precede the disagreements. Regardless, divorce has become part of the fabric of our society, to the point where half of all marriages do not survive.

Once a decision is made to divorce, or even if someone is still considering what options exist, a Massachusetts attorney who has experience in helping individuals solve their marital issues may offer some perspective and answer important questions. Indeed, getting divorced is often best accomplished by relying on the one thing lacking in many marriages, communication. Those who have divorced recall reaching a specific point when they knew the relationship was over and the time had come to seek help in ending it. An attorney experienced in divorce and family law may assist in planning a course of action to achieve a new beginning.

Source: Chicago Tribune, "Till tedium do us part: Couples who want to avoid divorce had better sweat the small stuff," Heidi Stevens, Sept. 8, 2011

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